We hope everyone is enjoying a happy Halloween. In the spirit of the holiday, check out this horrifying press release that is making the rounds. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Happy Halloween to everyone from Jive.
Transylvania–October 29, 2010 A grotesquely hideous experiment has gone wrong in many global enterprises this Halloween. Business people have been hiding in their cubes, barricading their offices begging for help in exorcising the impact of the Social Frankenstein monster.
The Social Frankenstein is a horrifying assembly of piece-parts of different, incomplete, disconnected, social networking software components, blogs, wikis and other point tools stitched together. Often, this monster gets rotting legs and arms from Microsoft, a dead torso from IBM and a grotesque head with chattering teeth from Salesforce.com. This slow moving, yammering goliath has quickly become the scariest destructive force for enterprises this Halloween.
There have been numerous sightings of the Social Frankenstein in businesses around the globe. The simple act of looking at it has caused worker blindness, complete exhaustion and a loss of white-collar worker productivity. Business people who have been attacked by the monster report being stripped of all creativity and job satisfaction. With the increase in vendors promoting makeshift, bolted on social body parts, it was only a matter of time before a terrifying creation of horrific proportions would appear, disgusting business users and IT organizations.
"You can tell that thing took a while to create," said one business user, "It's as if this monster assimilated everything that was wrong with business applications and haphazardly assembled itself together into a soul-sucking, productivity-draining, customer-upsetting, beast."
Marketing and IT departments across the enterprises are getting together to find a solution to put an end to the Social Frankenstein. In partnership with Jive, they are deploying a comprehensive, enterprise-wide social business solution, built social from the ground up. The goal is to exorcise the monster and return the enterprise back to productivity and bring joy back into the lives of the workforce.
“Finally, we can end the horror of this beast”, said the CIO of an afflicted company. “With Jive Social Business Software we were able to crush the Social Frankenstein. We started fresh, after realizing that social business requires soul, and needs to be built on a platform with social DNA.“